THE NIGHT THE THEATRE WAS NUMB

The Day the Earth Stood Still
By Scott Derrickson

Two things are arguably true about Keanu Reeves. One: Of the thirty-five or so career spanning films he’s starred in, less than a third are of any value. Two: from the lot of noteworthy efforts, Reeves must have been effective in no more than a handful of them.

His latest flick is a big budget, Holiday remake of the wonderfully surreal THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL that was then directed by a young Robert Wise, later of WEST SIDE STORY, THE SOUND OF MUSIC and the balletic STAR TREK – THE MOTION PICTURE. In 1951 it was meant as a Michael Rennie vehicle – to introduce the talented British actor stateside. While the effort backfired, the film itself was well received Today it is seen as a classic by any standard, a film that almost sixty years ago was way ahead of its time.

Now its been handed over to B-Horror filmmaker Scott Derrickson who seems to be lacking in any discernable vision. Turn out, he adds no value to the reinvention of the film, in fact dulling its elegiac significance and draining the life from it, serving no reason for this recreation. Sure there’s modern technology abound and sets that may look impressively chintzy at first [but only at first]. Soon enough, once we meet our aliens – one of which is, to no surprise, Reeves, while the other a towering f/x creation seemingly formatted in black latex head to toe, we come to realize that the special effects, in such a state-of-the-arts time is relatively unimpressive, the worst offender being that great big sphere, presumably the spacecraft resembling a massive water-painted super ball. Let’s face it, after all, this isn’t 1951. Audiences today have high expectations, especially the less sophisticated ones targeted for the DTESS.

While Derrickson retains the doomsday feel of the original, this DTESS still reeks of gloomy, bleak images of, well, really nothing much. And that is the problematic essence of this updating. We hear a lot but see virtually nothing, which seriously numbs the plot from the very beginning. Even when expecting a denouement, there seems to be little to no pay off.

The world is at a standstill and we are made to believe that a sullen Jennifer Connolly [still beautiful but appearing dulled out herself] is the ultimate link to our Earth’s survival. If only she can persuade a DOA Reeves, as our planet’s visitor [which should come as a natural for him] that Earthlings will change their ways. This means that our planet is potentially extinct unless Connelly can convince billions of people [in imagine how many languages] to readjust their lives’ philosophy and actions. I’d say that the probability of her success is, well, way more than a long shot. But trust me, it makes no difference and bears no hindrance to the non-plot. The aliens have already made up their mind. The cheesy special effects will come in time.

That Connelly also has what most of us do, domestic troubles, is simply a plot mechanism that propels the story to its weakest plot device – yes weaker than the save-the-planet mainframe. The hackneyed cliché has her playing surrogate mom trying to control a troubled, angry tyke played by Jaden Smith [son of Will & Jada]. Ironically, Smith, all angst, is a natural on screen and, given time, may pick up much better material which will allow him to further explore teen angst with subtlety. For now, we are privy to witnessing little Smith simply outperforming Reeves, which would normally be disturbing but here mostly fits in with our expectations.

Reeves robotic performance was a warm welcome in THE MATRIX [I’ve always called it the best performance by a special effects] but here Reeves simply prompts a lifeless, listless performance, if even a performance, out of himself. And note to Kathy Bates: You should have looked the other way. Bates is a more than capable actress and should avoid taking on cameo-type roles that demean her. This unsympathetic supporting role does nothing for her resume other than make her look fat.

Leaving Jennifer Connolly to save the day with which she unfortunately does not have the strength or material to do so. In the DTESS, tedium leads to nuisance. And nuisance leads us right back to tedium. Whereby I am now hoping that should a real alien invasion ever occur, and I get to witness it happening, that the real aliens will bring on much more excitement into my life. In the meantime I’d need to rent the 1951 film and re-watch it [it’s been years] if to confirm just how visionary it was back then. Because these days if anybody says, “wow,” to this version, they’ve obviously neither read any sci-fi books in the last century nor have they seen the forerunners to this dud.

The DTESS is a remake so unoriginal, and close to banal, that you have to wonder why they did not even bother making it perhaps more inventively and relevant to our times. We generally complain about the destruction of the classics by remakes [e.g.: THE WOMEN] but this is precisely the type of material that would have benefited from a tinkering. Of course, then again, maybe the producers just wanted a quick profit and had no intention of ever making it fresh or relevant or even any good. I may come across as a cynic but trust me not nearly as cynical as the film-as-product comes across. Watch it but don’t say you weren’t warned. One of 2008’s very worst.